ATTENTION NYC: TAKE A SRI LANKAN COOKING CLASS W/ SKIZ

If you're going to be around the NYC area on November 20th, I urge you to sign up for a Sri Lankan cooking class with Skiz. Readers of this blog will remember Skiz from a post I did on one of my favorite episodes of Anthony Bourdain's "No Reservations.

I'll probably be in labor and I'm so bummed I'll have to miss it! If you go please email or post an update about the class on this site.

All the info from his site, Rice & Curry is below!

I’m happy to announce that I’ll be offering a cooking class — An Introduction to Sri Lankan Cuisine — at the Indian Culinary Center in Manhattan on Friday, November 20th from 6-9:30 PM.The Indian Culinary Center is run by Geethika Khanna, whom I met at the Curry Take-down this past summer in Brooklyn. She offers a wide range of classes on different aspects of Indian Cooking, and she has been nice enough to extend the invitation to me to share my skills and expertise on Sri Lankan food for this one-off class.I will show you how to prepare a full, typical Sri Lankan meal including Rice, Chicken Curry, Paripu (Lentils stewed in coconut milk), pol sambol (a popular coconut-based condiment), Mallun (sauteed greens), and a spicy Sri Lankan salad. I will also show you how to make your own curry powder. Of course, at the end of the class, we will feast!Registration for the class, which costs $75, is limited so please sign-up soon. You may register online at: http://www.indianculinarycenter.com/The Indian Culinary Center is located at 131 West, 23rd St. btw 6th and 7th Ave.I look forward to seeing you there!

FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIAGE, THEN COMES BABY CARRIAGE

Or something like that. Our baby actually came after love while we were planning our marriage. She'll be with us in November a month after we get married. Married. That's right-that's happening this Saturday. It's one of the reasons I started this blog as one half of what some would call a "mixed" couple. Once I knew I was having a little one, it became even more important for me to work out my own feelings about "mixing" and "race." Along the way I hit those topics on the blog and some other topics that are near and dear to my heart. As I become a wife and a mother, I know that many more issues will become a central part of this blog.

It's a little bit of a freak out for a girl who never thought she'd get married or have babies to be doing everything all at once. I'm excited, terrified, calm, and panicky all at the same time. The first waves of butterflies hit this morning. I feel like I'm about to take another giant leap of faith into yet another stage of my life.

For the next few months, I'll be figuring out motherhood, "wifehood" and how to remember to sign my married name, but be patient. I will be posting as often as I can.

"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TELL HER SHE IS?"

As I move ever closer to hatching this little egg inside my belly, many of my black colleagues are curious to know how we're going to tell our little chicken to identify. I was reminded of this constant question while listening to the latest episode of Mixed Chicks Chat. One of the hosts, Fanshen, shared a conversation she had with a woman with a Jewish/white father and a black mother who identifies as black. It's worth it to listen to the entire episode, but the long and short of it is that this woman, though she on some level identifies with the "mixed experience," seems to harbor a level of resistance to identifying as such.

A similar discussion on Twitter came up with Melissa Harris-Lacewell some time in July when she tweeted the following about her reasons for identifying as black:

Harris-Lacewell: I don't believe multi-racial makes sense by my understanding of race.

Harris-Lacewell: Race is socially constructed and "multi-racial" seems to assume that race is biological: if parents are of different then the kid is "mixed"

Harris-Lacewell: But that is not how race works. Race is constructed through law, history, culture, practice, custom, etc.

Harris-Lacewell: Black does not designate having two parents who are both "un-mixed" descendants of African and African diaspora. Black=derived from society.

Harris-Lacewell: There is no "mixed race" history, institutions, cultural practices. There are mixed race ppl who are part of all these, but no group history

Harris-Lacewell: I believe all people can self-identify themselves in ways that feel comfortable and honest, but the social/political part is bigger.

Harris-Lacewell: I have a white mother and black father, but this doesn't make me mixed race. Race is not biology. In USA this combo makes me black.

Harris-Lacewell:My self-designation: Black with Access to Residual White Privilege (BWATRWP)

Harris-Lacewell: Funny tweeting about mixed-race identity from New Orleans.

Harris-Lacewell hope this helps clarify my position.

On one hand I totally get why she identifies as black while on the other hand I totally get why someone would identify as mixed or multiracial. The former acknowledges and embraces the political reality of a black identity while the latter is acknowledges and embraces the personal/individual cultural reality of having parents from different ethnic/cultural backgrounds. As Harris-Lacewell asserts, the things that define so-called black identity and so-called white identity have precious little to do with biology or humanity. BUT, I think that people have to be clear when they decide on an identity based on politics-on both sides. Much like race, I truly believe that politics/political identity leaves no room for humanity. I know some people may think I'm naive, but I really think that most people don't have a political agenda when they're trying make sense of who they are in this world. It's about trying to make space for who they choose to be on a micro level despite what the macro forces of society are telling them they have to be.

Even though I know we've made lemonade out of lemons as a people and forged our humanity and culture despite this forced identity, the problems of building a culture/identity on the foundation of a falsehood is problematic. As time marches on, people start to butt up against these constructed identities though they are totally enmeshed in the fabric of our social order. I think that's why so many "black" people, including myself, often run afoul of blackness. Though I'm clearly not white, I imagine that the same thing on some level occurs for white people. (This is a bit off topic, but season one of Mad Men seems to speak to how some white people experienced the constraints of whiteness as a culture.) Identity based upon opposition always falls down somewhere in the end.

All that said, all we can do for our little one is to provide her with a firm foundation of who she is as a human being and to let her identify how she chooses. Our contribution to making the process easier is to emphasize regional cultural/ethnicity and to really let her know what her roots are. For me, Geechee/Southern culture is a big part of how I identify. There are foodways, language, and culture that make up that identity and since I am lucky enough to know that our continental roots are from Sierra Leone-there's an added layer to what we hold onto culturally. For her dad's part she's Scottish, Italian, Irish and German-and all those things peek out in some of his cultural traditions, foodways, etc. Also, her dad blesses her with the alternate regional universe of Philly/South Jersey culture. Go Iggles.

Our best wish for our little one is that her sense of self and family is so strong, that no one will be able to push her around and tell her who she is or who she should be.

TOP TEN HORROR MOVIES NO PREGNANT WOMAN NEEDS TO SEE

I love LOVE, horror movies. Not your slasher/torture porn trash, but good old-fashioned supernatural, haunting, monsters and demons horror. Since I regularly watch horror movies, it never occurred to me to curb my appetite for fright during my pregnancy. As I loaded up our communal Netflix que with horror movies and marked my calendar for the latest monster movies opening in theaters, no caution was heeded and there was no pause for the cause.

Five minutes in to The Orphan, I realized the folly of my ways. For anyone who's seen that movie, you know what I'm talking about. Not even right. As my little one kicked and wriggled in my belly, I could not believe what the hell I was seeing. So that no other horror-flick loving pregnant lady has to repeat my mistakes, outlined below are the top 10 horror films no pregnant woman needs to see.

10. The Brood

Nasty, nasty, nasty. David Cronenberg. A Cronenberg special. Most horror fans know what that means. There's no reason to ever watch this film while with child. It's distressing and traumatizing.

9. Basket Case

Umm, just say no. Not only because it's kind of a bad movie, but because some dude walks around with his formally conjoined twin in a basket. Plus, it has that nasty, early-80s not quite out of the 70s look that always makes for queasy viewing. No. No. No.

8. Freaks

The damn title alone should give you pause. I saw this shit once and never watched it again it disturbed me so much. You don't need to see real, actual circus freaks while you're pregnant. Seriously. Don't put it anywhere near your Netflix que.

7. El Habitante Incierto (The Uninvited Guest)

This is more of a thriller from the lovely country of Spain, but it's still some shit you don't need to watch 6 months deep into pregdom. The kicker doesn't register until the end of the film, which makes it all the more distressing. Trust me.

6. Peliculas Para No Dormir: El Habiticion Del Nino (Films to Keep You Awake: The Baby's Room)

Now this one was sheer stupidity on my part. I love Spanish films in general and I've been really into Spanish horror films since I watched [REC], but this is one I could have left alone until the little girl is in college. It's actually quite good, but not something you need to mess with while pregnant or with small children. Only the Spanish could make you afraid of a baby monitor.

5. Ils (Them)

This is the original French version upon which The Strangers was based. Neither one is great for pregnant viewing. There are no twisted birth metaphors, but your pressure and adrenalin will be up-not good for the baby. Both movies are really scary, especially if you live in a somewhat secluded area.

4. Alien

You almost feel like you're carrying one around anyway so why watch this quintessential male, impregnation anxiety film? Though one could argue this fits more with the sci-fi genre, I argue that it fits squarely within the realm of films pregnant women can stand to avoid.

3. The Exorcist

Another film that will raise your pressure and anxiety and another film that I've seen only once in my life. Never to be repeated. Never have repeated. I went to Catholic school, my Grandpa had a root lady, and I totally felt like the whole thing with Tara, her Mama and the root lady exorcism on True Blood could have been real. I believe in evil and in manifestations of evil. Call me crazy, but I just am not interested in ever seeing this movie again. Not pregnant, not ever. (Just one added note, apparently they warned pregnant women to avoid this movie back in the day when it was first released. The hubby-to-be's mom didn't see it until she was 40 because she heeded those warnings while she was pregnant with him in 1973)

2. The Orphan

This movie was totally not what I expected or wanted at all. The first 5 minutes was just wrong for any pregnant woman to see. Wrong. You're better off watching The Bad Seed. The first few minutes of The Orphan puts it out of commission for all those in the preggers club.

1. Rosemary's Baby

One day my mom and dad came over to help me do some shopping and stuff around the house while the hubby-to-be was out of town. My mom and I returned from a marathon round of hitting the shops to find my dad and our dog watching Rosemary's Baby. I made lunch and we all sat there and watched that mess. Don't get me wrong, I've seen the movie many times before and loved it. I didn't love it so much as a pregnant woman. It will make you seriously believe that all of "them" are freaking witches. There are times when I've felt really vulnerable and scared out in the world being pregnant. This movie doesn't help at all.

This is my advice to you as a pregnant horror movie fan. We can always revisit these films in retirement if we must.

SUNDAY FOOD PORN: JEAN TALON MARKET

The hubby-to-be and I love Montreal. Since we're both foodies the search for the best restaurants, markets, holes-in-the-wall are the center of our tourist activities. We always have dinner at Au Pied De Cochon and we always hit the Jean Talon Market.

I can't really explain the Jean Talon Market. It's no ordinary farmers market. For a greedy, food-obsessed girl like me, it's a religious experience. The vast quantities of fresh delicious fruit and veg defy all imagination and the selection of artisanal cheeses, meats, spices, fish and other comestibles will make you see Jesus. Yet, the best thing about this market is that it's the neighborhood supermarket. It's not just some high-flown yuppie affair (though they are in full effect) because the people from all walks of life all shop there. Even more mouth-watering is the fact that prices are insane for the the amount of produce you are purchasing. I regularly gorge myself on a child's beach bucket size carton of strawberries for the low price of 5 Canadian dollars.

The last trip up (about a week ago) we decided to cook dinner one night and I made summer squash with buffalo steak seared in piri-piri spices-all purchased from the market. We also bought hunks of fresh cheese and bread for well under 80 dollars.

I could go on for days, but I can't stress how important it is for all fellow greedy guts to make the pilgrimage to Montreal and to the Jean Talon Market. It seems as though the Quebecois know how to enjoy life and their food in a serious, unpretentious way. Also, remember that some of these folks fled down to Louisiana and became known as "Cajuns" so you know they can get down with some food and fun.

For a fantastic guide to all things food and Montreal food in particular, check out An Endless Banquet's A-Z guide to Montreal food.

POSTUS-DELAYUS: ERYKAH BADU AND WACK CONCERT AUDIENCES

I'm the worst blogger ever. Still working on all those posts I promised and getting ready for the baby girl and getting ready for the wedding and trying to get my learners permit so I can stop being a terminal native NYer and learn how to drive. So to atone for my sins, I'm posting some pics I've been promising to share.

A few weeks ago, I caught Erykah Badu's show on Governor's Island. The show was great and Governor's Island is such an amazing setting for an outdoor concert. The one thing I've noticed though about most live performances these days is how distracted the audience seems. The crowd at the Badu show was pretty lame in this respect. People on their phones, walking around, talking loud-all while the performance is happening. Trampy, drunken frat girls almost getting their faces mashed up and sending my girl to central lock-up because they almost knocked my pregnant ass down on the ground. (That's a whole other story) No one seems into the music at all. No one seems to be engaged with what's happening on stage. You look around and wonder why the hell they paid the money to be there.

The only shows I've seen people fully engaged were at Coachella a few years back (Depeche Mode headlined), a Teena Marie show at B.B. King's, the Swing Out Sister show at B.B. Kings, and a Jamiroquai concert at the Nokia theater ages ago.

I don't know if it's a generational thing, a douche-bag thing or what. Maybe I'm just an old, pregnant fogey. It just seems to be rude and wasteful to go to a live show and not experience anything the performer's trying to share with you.

Even still, I managed to enjoy it despite the proliferation of herbs in the crowd.

STAY TUNED......

I'm working on a series of posts, preparing for a baby and planning a wedding that's two months away. Jesus take the wheel....

Please stay tuned-hoping to have first part of the series up soon. It's my response to the madness that's been going on in our so racial world lately which makes me want to take my family to live in a bunker. I'm also working on a post about the top ten movies every pregnant woman should avoid watching.